The last drag

For the past week I was in Manipal. Had gone over there to submit my final semester's project work. I don't really know what I expected when I boarded the bus in Bangalore. Was just relieved and happy that I'd be getting away from work for a while and meet people with whom I have had some special times. There is a stark difference between my school and college friends. If I had to bring it down to one point, it would be that with college people the conversations mainly happen in Hindi whereas with school friends it's usually English which holds sway. The funny thing is that it just feels better that ways. Anyhow, I find it particularly interesting that even though I have even lived with college people and never really done so with school friends, there is just a different connection I have with the people I meet from school. Guess this is where childhood, innocence, age and maturity come into the picture.

I reached Manipal early in the morning on Saturday. The room I entered was packed with people. People who had come from various parts of India. Come to submit their final semester's project work. But actually they were in Manipal for one last drag from this oh so exciting place.

This week in Manipal was supposed to be special. Special because it was going to be the last time when so many people from my batch were going to be together. It may happen again much later this year when the convocation will be held. But somehow I don't really see that happening. Simple reason being that we won't be required to come down that time. People that I meet unabashedly proclaim their love for Manipal, how unforgettable an experience college has been here and how much they'll miss the friends and times that this place has given them but I'd like to see how many of them come down to Manipal for their convocation when they won't be required by college to do so and would be coming purely for sentimental reasons. Would be interesting to see who all turn up then.

Anyhow, all that is for later. (I really should stop digressing no. But then writing wouldn't be nearly as interesting.) There were lots of people who had come down to Manipal this week. Obviously there was no chance of different groups staying together, whether in the college blocks or in a lodge. So there were groups scattered all over Manipal in different accommodations. They did meet at the various watering holes that Manipal is replete with! Over drinks and cigarettes, many hugs were exchanged, conversations struck, notes compared and promises made of staying in touch even after Manipal. Nice, fake and beautiful. The way Manipal is.

The first few days that I was there, I had to do a lot of scrambling around in order to get my project report in the prescribed format. I just don't get it. You do a project somewhere outside college. When you come for your submission, the one thing which is obsessed about the most is the format of your report. Whether the lines have been indented properly or not, whether undeserving people have been thanked, whether font sizes have been followed or not. Such crap!! Anyways, I gritted my teeth and came through it. That and the project submission. I enjoy preparing presentations. Like to make the slides crisp and relevant. I found myself quite unashamedly procrastinating when it came my project's presentation. It was the last drag. I think I can be excused. Don't you?

I had gone over to Manipal a couple of months back. I hadn't really roamed around the campus then. Was busy catching up with friends then. And there wasn't that feeling of inevitable departure then. This time, I decided to walk around the campus. Trudge along the straight and long road which has no trees lining it. Alone. With my old and worn bag slung across one shoulder. Walk all the way from college to tenth block. Pass the blocks which lie by the side of the road, the small eatery and the basketball court (which is actually used for basketball), the messes where I have had so many meals, the tennis courts (gosh, I wish I had played more!) and reach the block where one gets solitude in a single room. Tenth block felt different this time. It seemed as if I had left it eons back! The corridors seemed weirdly wide and the rooms inhospitable. Guess staying there was an experience of which I had had my fill and more.

Walking around campus felt weirdly good. My mind is infested with memories of this bare campus. Bare campus with its turns, retreats with thatched roofs strewn by the wayside, stores which sell items of daily use and dark alleys. When I looked around at the boys and girls who were walking beside me I felt that right now they were living in a safe and secluded world. Away from the rigours, idiosyncrasies and tensions of the real world. I too have enjoyed my fill of this life. Enjoyed and wasted it too! Can it be enjoyed without being wasted? Rhetorical questions do have a weird kind of empty truth oozing from them, is it not?

Manipal has a long road which pierces it into two. There is a steep slope to it which levels out. It's about three km long and its ends mark the beginning and end of this town. I enjoy walking along this road, when the weather's nice that is. There's hardly ever a semblance of traffic on this road. No swanky cars here. Far from it! Old fashioned Indian cars, various kinds of two wheelers and pedestrians parade this road. And the thing which struck me this time was the lack of sound which emanates from this road! There is strange kind of buzz which one hears. Apart from that? Nothing really. The atmosphere is peaceful and serene all right. Dull and listless too. Ideal for aimless wanderings during college years. More of it? No, thanks.

Coming to the people now. As I said, various groups were staying in Manipal this week. At different places. There was an occasion when a friend of mine called a lot of people for a dinner. People from various groups came. They still sat in pockets though. And it wasn't much fun. I did have fun when I bumped into a couple of people. One of whom I know well and the other was an acquaintance. We chatted for a couple of hours by the side of the road, under a tree. I think I made a new friend then. Manipal does have a certain charm to it. A charm that I feel intermittently when I'm over there. When I sit in front of a roadside watering hole on ground which has ants running all over it, take a swig of some beer, make some simple conversation, wonder what a career really is, enjoy the cool evening weather and gaze at the peaceful road going down the hill.

There were a couple of unforgettable conversations which I had this time in Manipal. Two with school friends who did college in Manipal and another with a person whom I had got to know quite well while in Manipal. As I have said earlier, relationships fascinate me! (And not just 'relationships'. When a 'relationship' ends, does a relationship end?) Anyhow, relationships do change a lot over time. And some of them don't need to be sustained as such. They just need a connection.

There are some college friends with whom I have spent a lot of time while in Manipal. Stayed with them in the same room or adjoining ones, gone on trips to places around Manipal, had some exquisite conversations while inebriated and generally spent a lot of time as we grew younger together. A group of us would always get up, form a huddle and sing "Wish you were here" whenever it played at a particular joint that we'd frequent a lot. On the last night, we didn't. A guy was missing but I don't think that was a reason as such. We just didn't feel like it. You know why? Because college had come to an end. Because it felt like first year again with everyone unattached and staying as we used to in 101 (my hostel room in first year where at any point in time there were in excess of five people in a room meant for two, with at least three people sleeping there at night!)

Because we wanted to enjoy this last drag of Manipal. Savour it. Roll it in our mouths, run it over our tongues and smack our lips. Doesn't quite sound like a last drag does it?

Language and the new online lingo

Each and every language has semantics and semiotics associated with it. These can be considered to represent the structure of a language. Technology can cause immense changes in the dynamics of a language. This can be demonstrated best if we consider filmmaking or photography to be a language. The ‘visual’ languages are most affected by technology. As advancements in technology have been made, films and photographs have completely changed! From the black and white silent films of Charlie Chaplin we have come to the purely digital realm of a film like “300”. I talk about all this before getting down to the issue of online communication simply because I want to illustrate that technology has completely altered the experience that gazing at a photograph or viewing a film has been. Altered the way in which our emotions are affected by these experiences.

Online communication clearly deals with the languages that we use in every day life in order to communicate with one another through the medium of words. We communicate online through the internet and the short messaging service provided by the cellular providers. In the past few years it has become clear that the English language has been greatly affected because of online communication! Youngsters these days have no qualms in quite literally murdering traditional English usage and communicating in what appears to be a different language altogether! Vowels are often skipped, sentences are broken, punctuation is ignored in most cases and to top it all, the ‘text’ is interspersed with strange looking emoticons.

So has much the English language been ruined because of online communication? It has been ruined to an extent keeping semantics in mind. The rigid structure that has been followed for all these years has undoubtedly been ravaged. Apart from this, phrases such as “lol”, “asap”, “brb” have become part and parcel of everyday usage. Purists obviously look down upon these new developments and in most cases cannot even decipher what a youngster may be attempting to communicate through the medium of online communication!

Like all languages, the English language also has semantics and semiotics associated with it. We have already seen the impact that online communication has had on the semantics of the English language. What about the semiotic aspect? In my opinion, online communication may have had an immensely negative impact on the semantics but it undoubtedly has had an even bigger impact on the semiotics of the English language. Messages sent in the apparent gibberish of online chats or SMSes are extremely personalised so to speak. Each person has his own way with the new lingo that we see around us. Apart from that, we need to question the reason for this lingo actually coming in to being. One reason obviously is that it is much faster to use. Another and more interesting reason is that society has changed and the way in which we express has changed.

The grammar of language may have been ruined because of online communication but language is definitely richer because of it.

Hmmm... 30 minutes... 500 words... Not bad I'd say. Posting it as I wrote it under those constraints. Not very good work by any means. Under the circumstances? Nice.

Why I will send my daughter to a B-school but not my son

It is interesting to study the changes that have taken place in human culture. In ancient times, the hunter-gatherer culture prevailed in society. Men and women actually shared the activity of procuring food whether it was through the task of hunting or gathering. There was no explicit subdivision of tasks on the basis of gender. Whatever subdivision existed was due to the differences in physical ability. It was only later when agrarian culture was adopted and the focus was on extending the family that gender subdivision of tasks came to be.

The ancient culture is so back, isn’t it? Women have made their presence felt in all spheres of work, from microbiology to literature to engineering to sport. Modern culture (which just sounds so ancient now, doesn’t it) expects and indeed requires that women don’t just bake the bread, they earn it too! The men and women in the family go out to hunt. They have to. So where lies the difference and what’s in a B-school anyways? Let’s investigate.

The vast majority which participates in the B-school show does so because of various issues associated with a management course. Some of these issues being; it ensures a hefty pay packet at the end of it, many useful contacts may be made in the Machiavellian environs of a B-school and a foothold is obtained in the cut throat corporate world. What about the learning, one may be tempted to ask. That's not even a factor that a wannabe B school grad considers!

Harsh but true.

I would send my daughter to a B-school because I would want her to experience a B-school and everything that comes with it. It would in a sense be a social learning which is impossible elsewhere. What about my son? He’ll hunt. Hunt in the only place where one should; the real world. Why shouldn’t my daughter do the same? Simply because she’d be a woman and in an anthropological perspective, ‘new’ to hunting. Her hunting would need some fine tuning right? The toilet training that a B-school provides should just about do.

"Beautiful beautiful involvement, remember?" Here we are talking about which of my children I'd be sending to a B-School! Sigh... The pitfalls of loving to write ;-) I stumbled upon this essay topic on the net. Laughed for a couple of minutes. Then realised that it's quite a bitch to come up with something coherent and true! I had to sound just a touch sexist to do justice to this topic but I like what I came up with :D

My newest friend

Recently, I have got to know someone a bit better. Someone with whom I have flirted for a while now; flirted for the first time when I was a boy fresh in college, flirted on occasions when I was out of Manipal, flirted when I was at some of the places which we would frequent in order to just get away from everything. Nothing more than harmless flirting please. That was my attitude then. As with all flirtatious exchanges, one doesn't really get to know know the other person. Perhaps that's the beauty of flirting. Perhaps that's why flirting is so enjoyable. Perhaps.

One fine morning, we decided to take the next step. No commitments please. I have had ENOUGH of them. Beautiful beautiful involvement please. Please? (You do know the egg-bacon breakfast joke don't you? You dont?! Aaah, I have something wonderful to narrate to you when we meet next. It'll be a pity if we don't get to meet. A real pity.) This is my attitude now.

The company cab was a bit late. I was getting bored. A little voice had been urging me for a while now. For quite a while. It hadn't been loud. That's not me at all. Never have liked to be loud. Nice and subtle is the way to be. Nice and subtle. So anyways, I decided to take the plunge. Finally. And I saw the light. The mind seemed clearer, the head lighter and the surroundings seemed to have, now how do I put THIS, a rare 'cleanliness' about them. Not much, just a touch. Nice and subtle, remember?

And so, it began. A new relationship. Different from the ones that I have experienced so far. (Seems to be quite the season for it, isn't it? More about this in another post. Maybe. I'll have to consult my friend.) The initial novelty and headiness that one gets from a new relationship has worn off. These are good signs aren't they? Probably not. These are probably badly good signs. Whatever sense that makes. I don't care. Anyhow, as with all 'relationships', the nature of it will depend on the parties involved. How we get along as I get older. How we get along as I become more of an individual. Do remember that I'm back. Back from the wilderness. Back with a friend. But not out of jail, yet.

All of us have friends. Kind of difficult to survive without them, isn't it? Just the way we look at our friends is different. Very different! So anyways, with this friend of mine it's a bit different. I hate being dependent on things, whether they be people or activities. (Unless of course I have to do something which I detest; doing things out of character.) Maybe that's why I would like to flirt with this friend of mine. I'm older now, remember. As I was saying, it's a touch different with this friend of mine. We get along fine obviously. Not much conversation actually, which is not really a negative if you think hard. It's just the feeling that I get when I'm with my friend. A feeling of not being alone. A feeling of being shown the light. The way it should be shown. Slowly.

I like spending quality time with my friend. I don't like my friend to be around all the time either. (Most 'bad' things are 'good' if enjoyed in measure, isn't it?) I'm fine alone too. I was all these years. Or was I? Anyhow, I like my life better with my friend around.

Beautiful beautiful involvement, remember?

Looking out for fun in a new playground :)

My father eyes

Dad. In Goa, It was quite an experience playing TT and pool with him :) When I was a kid, I remember that the family had once gone to the maidan in Calcutta to play cricket. There are still pictures of that morning :) While playing TT I noticed that like me, even Dad prefers the backhand to the forehand. He picked up pool pretty fast too. Began to quite enjoy the games also I think ;)

Like Dids, he also has verrry expressive eyes. They flit from one emotion to another by the second.

Quite a character my father is. Quite a character. A curious character, if I might add. He would be, wouldn't he?

Don't forget. He is a theatre person.

Ms Mascarenhas

My sister. I was just going through the pictures that I'd taken in Goa. Trying to zero in on a good picture of her. It wasn't very difficult. A bit, yes. She's got a very 'camera friendly' face. A natural smile and isn't camera shy at all (Saggi after all! ;P) Most of her pictures come out well. The difficulty lay in picking out the most natural picture? Well, they were all pretty natural! The difficulty lay in picking out the natural picture in which 'she' had been captured.

I like this picture too. Haven't played around with it that much on Picassa. Didn't even try to see it in black and white! Even if it did look good in that, the picture wouldn't have been true to the bubbly person that she is. I don't think I even need to mention the details of the resemblance in this case!

As for the title, it's a private joke that probably even my sister has forgotten! Haven't you Dids?!

Hope you like it Dids! I do :D

Mother

Mom. She and I go a long way back. Not surprising, is it? ;P If you have ever seen me then you can immediately detect the striking resemblance! The same round face and a tremendously mischievous twinkle in the eyes whenever a smile is FLASHED. Like me, Mom tends to get a bit conscious when she is photographed. Of course, we both love to see the photographs that eventually come out ;P

I really like this picture of her. It's natural :) They way photographs of people should ALWAYS be.

Ever thought about punctuation?

Hi...

Hi!!

I've been waiting to see ya..

I've been waiting to see ya :P

How have you been?

How have YOU been ;)

Life's good but just a touch busy!!

Life's good but just a touch busy...

You look quite different from when I saw you last!

YOU look quite different from when I saw you last :P

Yeah, I guess it shows here and there :(

Yeah! I guess it shows here AND there!!

How does it matter anyways?

How does it matter anyways??!!

Does anything really matter?

Does ANYTHING really matter?!

Things are still the same aren't they...

Things ARE still the same aren't they!!

Shouldn't we try to move on in life??

Shouldn't we try to move on in life...

It can't be SO difficult can it?!

It can't be SO difficult can it...

Do you ALWAYS have to act difficult?!

Do YOU always have to act difficult?!

HOW DID WE GET TOGETHER?!

How did WE get together?!

Who are you and who am I?

WHO ARE YOU and WHO AM I?!

'Journalistic' article or veiled essay?

A piece of writing that I put together a month or so back. My first attempt at writing an article for a newspaper. Like most first attempts, nothing really came of it. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed the exercise :)

School is widely regarded as the first social experience. College marks the end of the beginning. School (and home in most cases) is left behind. Students are forced to see dreams in a real life perspective and they take the first few steps towards independence. The journey to college marks a watershed in their lives as for the first time they briefly get to savour freedom of choice.

Choice titillates eighteen year olds who are young adults. Adulthood beckons them. Confusion, social pressure and job security lure many into taking up engineering. Engineering allows an individual to choose between diverse avenues of employment after graduation. Choice is thus enjoyed and deferred.

Most of the students at engineering college are away from home for the first time. Freedom, the routine classroom environment and rigorous curriculum drive students differently. A select few immerse themselves in self study and project work. Some students involve themselves with extracurricular activities (most of which cannot be mentioned in print!) and computer games. The vast majority distance themselves from academics and do not identify with the coursework that they are subjected to.

The end result is that a large number of youngsters find themselves to be caught in a web of interminable hours in the classroom, innumerable examinations and little or no official leisure time. It is in such a situation that relationships are forged, the classroom becomes a place to recoup energy that is spent elsewhere, last minute preparation is accepted by teachers and students alike as the norm and procuring notes for photocopying is made a fine art. Students love college for the freedom that it provides to find or lose one’s self. They feel that engineering is less an exercise in learning and more an experiment with education.

Recruitment in engineering colleges begins in the third year of college. Not surprisingly, students also pull up their socks at that time! Discussions about pre-placement talks, pay packages and companies dominate their hitherto carefree lives. Some students say that college helped them to gain a clearer perspective on life. The abundance of choices available post engineering notwithstanding, a high percentage of students commences professional life in a software company.

Most software companies operate behind a veil of informality. Casual e-mails are framed carefully and orders come gift-wrapped with smiles. At work every action comes under the scanner and friendship does not come with the click of a mouse. This may not as yet be an Orwellian scenario but nonetheless freshers say that they have to learn to cease living by instincts and fend for themselves. Fast! Once in the workplace engineers adapt well and most feel that this has little connection with their college education.

The majority of engineers feel that their ‘chosen’ course of study did not enrich them academically. However, they do concede that the rigorous curriculum which most of them underwent in a disinterested mode has left its traces on their mind and helped them gain financial independence. The minority that participated in the rigmarole of engineering college believes that the hectic college years provided a flavour of the pressures of professional life and equipped them to feel at home in an organisation. The consensus is that actual learning takes place only at work and that the first job is a stepping stone for post graduate studies.

It is quite an eye opening and soul wrenching experience for engineers to accept technical activities as part and parcel of their lives. For some, every day dawns as a new project with tickets attached to it! They understandably look back at their college years wistfully, yearn for a few more years of a life without worries in which they could follow their hearts, only to realize that life must go on and grudgingly appreciate work and its inevitable consequences – monotony and money.

A beautiful afternoon spent sipping writing

May Day has never felt so good!! It's probably the only world holiday that's there. I'm not sure. Whatever, it felt good to get a day off from WORK :) Wednesday night was spent in having some beer, chilling out and relaxing. I had gone over to some friends' place and they unfortunately didn't have a holiday. Weirdly enough, their company had some strange arrangement which required them to 'choose' their holidays. Stupid corpo culture. Anyways, I got up in the morning and was feeling unusually fresh and nice. Probably there should be more of these sweet arrangements of mid week respites :D I had kinda made up my mind that I'd spend some time reading "Human Zoo" by Desmond Morris at Crossword. I find anthropology quite fascinating :) I got caught up a bit talking to a friend and watching some interesting programs on Travel and Living. It must be quite a job travelling across the world, meeting all these interesting people in the most obscure places, seeing the customs and traditions unique to these places. I must admit, it does seem quite attractive from the point of a viewer. Obviously there would be some big time negatives associated with it too. A job's a JOB. Isn't it?

Anyways, while I was engaged in talking to my friend and watching those programs, I saw a couple of Filmfares lying around. Now, I'm not the Bollywood masala movie fan from ANY angle. But lately I have started reading a bit about Bollywood gas from here and there. So I thought that I'd just flip through it. The first article that I read was that of the editor. HOLY FUCK! It was a KICK ASS article. He spoke about how the idea of a relationship has changed dramatically. About how it's nowhere near as sublime and pure as it once was. About how it is akin to a commodity that has a 'shelf life' associated with it. He was obviously referring to Bollywood relationships but it was beautiful beautiful writing nonetheless. Definitely NOT the kind of stuff that I expected in Filmfare of all the magazines! Whats there :) I read some of his other articles too. I read some articles aloud also. The exercise felt nice and touched the recesses of mind that were once devoted to elocution and debating.

I finally made it to Crossword and got my hands on the anthro book. Good writing. Heavy writing. The kind of writing that one should read at leisure and not while in a bookstore. Some interesting thoughts there. About how the human tribe slowly formed sub tribes within itself. How language has both united as well as divided society. Very good stuff. I moved on to some travel writing. Pico Iyer. I'd heard that he writes well and also injects a dash of humour in his works. Discovered it to be quite true! I picked up a book of his which dealt with 'lonely places'. Gosh, he sure writes amazingly in the brief intro wherein he talks about what loneliness actually IS. Thought provoking stuff.

I needed a break after reading. Went for a stroll outside ;) and then when I came back, I was in the mood for some light reading. Fresh from the Filmfare experience, I picked up a copy of "Cine Blitz". Good crappy Bollywood masala. Crap interspersed with my kinda stuff :) A Rahul Bose interview made for interesting reading. Some other stuff which I can't recall now. Must not have been as good. Aah yes, there was an interview of Nagesh Kukoonoor too.

And then I struck gold! Came across this book titled "How to read film". Enticing title isn't it? So I started going through it. I immediately knew that I'd got my hands on a bible kind of thing! A bible on art, film, the works. Read a chapter. Knew that THIS was a book that I wish to possess. Reserved it. And I shall collect it this weekend :D

Whew. Quite a cocktail of writing wasn't it? I enjoyed it THOROUGHLY :)